Friday, June 13, 2008
I've always known reena in between marriages. The first time i met her at chat, she was using samar's account. And we hit it off suddenly. She's like a sister that i never knew. One thing i did love about her is that she's still open to get married again even if hers ended in a sour note. A few years ago, i heard she was again engaged.... but it didn't last either. She must have been devastated to be be disappointed the second time around.
I made the painting sad. I guess, i see myself in it too, with all my disappointments and apprehensions about relationships.... Always contemplating, trying to make sense out of things, where i went wrong among others....
There is a thousand more words to describe the feelings i have for reena, But for me, at this time, I feel words are inadequate and have a tendency to make it more shallow and cheesy so i have decided to deliver them in her picture.
I hope you like it as much as I loved doing it.
I hope reena be granted the love she deserves, wherever she maybe.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Single serve friends
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
12:10 midnite. Can’t sleep. Drank too much coffee in the afternoon. I feel like I want to split my body into three parts… one to type this blog, one to run my other errands and another to paint on my handmade quilts. I am surprised that I’m still stressed even after leaving the corporate world.
My dog sighs. He’s sleeping cozily over layers of pillows. He’s named after my favorite chatmate that I’m still terribly attracted after 6 years. I thought I was done with him. But my feelings are getting another rollercoaster ride when all the feelings I’ve buried begun to resurface when I painted his portrait for my show. I must be fucking insane to even think to be in love with this guy. I mean, I haven’t even met him!!!! Now I know why Matt, the husband of Jemy (inspirational online romance couple) was thought of his neighbors as crazy when he starts telling them that he’s visiting the Philippines to meet jemy. Fucking insane.
I hate the feeling of needing. I get like this a month before a show comes. When the stress levels are up, you need to produce brilliant ideas and you are reminded of how fragile your sanity is when a certain chatmate of yours cuts you in your mid sentence to say goodbye, when all you want to do is, plead for him to stay awhile longer, humor you a bit, and at least alleviate your loneliness for a few minutes.
I was crying while painting his portrait. One of my friends knew… just one look at the painting, even if the portrait was smiling, it was still sad. And it’s true. I was crying while doing it. For the lack of understanding of what has happened. For the loss, and for the feelings that are resurrecting, that I should have had control over.
Sigh. I find no resolution in my problems.
I weep for myself tonight, but kiss my online chatmate’s forehead in the air, wishing him that he find relief from the emptiness we both carry inside.
Monday, June 9, 2008
Have we met?
by Margaret Rodriguez
As technology and societies develop, cultures expand and change. One remarkable change happening right now, is how technology has altered the concept of meeting people. Our world has gotten smaller when the we sent letters via the post office , and the future took another leap when the telephone was invented. Now we have the cellphone, computers and internet. Traditionally, people met face to face to transact business, talk and fix alliances, woo and fall in love but as our options broaden by means of communication, how can we say that we’ve really met someone?
The exhibit tries to examine the nuances of the two schools of thought of meeting people: Meeting people face to face , and exploring the interaction between individuals using tools, take for example : through the mediation of the internet.
As an avid user of the internet Margaret Rodriguez delves into the medium of cyberspace as the virtual world that draws people of the same interest together, and also keeps them apart. She explores how much the internet has redefined communication and values, and people are now moving towards the abstract than the material and how computers can sometimes make a person more subtle, intuitive, expressive, creative that would have been harder to reveal in a face to face contact. She reveals these ideas by making collage portraits of the people she has known and interacted with in the internet.
She has chosen to work with textiles and handmade items to show a sense of attachment to the materials and techniques employed. This is in reaction to the proliferation of technology as she wants to portray the intimacy of relationships despite the use of synthetic tools like cellphones, computers and cable television.
2001. Found my online soulmate. This is a representation of what i know of him. Making this painting took a lot from me,and it’s both happy and sad. I have yet to meet him. But i know it will never be the same, like the summer of 2001.