Saturday, February 16, 2008


Do you believe in omens?

I was painting upstairs when i heard a loud crash emanating from the kitchens. One of our oldest plates broke into pieces from the hands of my mother. Was it a bad omen? a preview of things to come? I was never a believer of those, and shrugged off what had happened.

It was in the morning that the call came.

Lita, a household helper from one of my father's cousins, who goes to my grand aunt's house to clean during weekends discovered the demise of lola rosa. She phoned us quickly, and my dad and I quickly dropped by to survey the situation and to broadcast the news to all the relatives.

It was my first time to see a freshly dead body, and of someone I knew so well. My grand aunt was still sitting in her favorite spot in her simple dining table, still with her mouth wide open, her body hard and cold. There was remnants of her piss on the floor, which lita wiped after the funeral boys took my aunt to the funeral home. My grand aunt, lola elong was like a broken record when we found her. She had been complaining all night that she couldn't call our house, complained why lola rosa was the one taken, instead of her and how lola rosa choked, vomited before passing away. They have been together for more than 9 decades, in the same old house. Now she was all alone.

It was a common consensus that my lola elong, alone during that night, might have been rattled, with poor eyesight, could not call us though the phone and find help. Maybe there could have been something that could have been done....

Faced with death, I'm still numb from the experience. Early as now, i'm trying to think of how life will be when my parents will be older. Will they be staying with me? Is it going to be like how lola elong and lola rosa lived? The two of them having petty fights everyday and actually look forward to the arguments? Who'll go first? Mom or Dad? Or maybe me?

In the midst of all my thoughts, my mother draws me to the corner...

"Sabi ko na nga ba, baka yung basag na plato yung warning sa atin". ( I had a feeling the broken plate was an omen).

I personally don't believe it, but... what a strange coincidence.........

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Happiness in a dual core format

...Finally,having spent months grueling over my limping pentium 3 computer, my brother convinced my dad to buy a new computer ( I know I'm in an age where I'm supposed to be living in my own flat and buying my own pc...hehehe)... For me, this is only temporary... And should get back on track after I land a job (or sell all my paintings).

Anyway, yesterday I bought a new pc... yay! Finally! 2 gigs of ram, a dual core processor and a nvidia graphics card to finally get my old 3d stuff up and running. We still have the old monitor, but I'm not complaining. As long as the work gets done efficiently,saves when it supposed to save and not hang while your saving... AND HAVE TO REBOOT EVERY TEN MINUTES.

I am so happy ( okay... okay... almost... If the pldt guys just deliver what they promise ...which is 1mbps rather than 40kbps of dsl bandwidth everything would have been so swell) at least I've uploaded my stuff in multiply and flickr.

Now, I'm terribly thinking about freelancing instead of getting a real job (8-5 kind). And brush upon my 3d,flash skills... *hay... choices....

the 2x2 stuff

After doing the long planks, i was excited to make artworks with a square size. I've been inspired by lin xiping's pallete (mid tones- to highlights), although, in my case, I still can't get out of needing to have full contrast in my work and a clean monotone feel. ... Still, I'm so happy for the final outcome.

Saturday, February 9, 2008

Patterns : Metaphors of Life

I've always been fascinated by patterns. When i first borrowed my father's camera in college, the first thing i would shoot are the trellis, the spiked gate tops, the ebb and flow of the tide that form the tiny sand dunes in the beach. In the same way nature follows a pattern, our lives are also governed by our natural instincts. We develop habits and daily rhythms.

I was so excited to find out about artists and artworks that pertained to patterns. I used to love van gogh (well, i still do)... his rhythmic strokes became a pattern in itself. I especially loved pacita abad with her bold colors and wild imagination. I simply had to paint after i had been showed the way.

I started with long canvasses, and the design and colors just flowed... Soon, I was on the next canvas. Nothing is as satisfying as finally finding yourself in the work that you love. I hope fate will help me continue on with my craft amidst all uncertainty.